Cool Karma:
the guarantee that a moment of extreme coolness will ultimately lead to tripping on something in front of an audience later.
On Friday I had an insanely cool moment. I was wearing my new boots and my tight jeans, feeling pretty cute as I rode around a corner on my bike and simultaneously whipped my sunglasses off my head, flipped my hair, and put the sunglasses on my face.
I looked. So cool.
In the moment I spent enjoying it though, I came to terms with the fact that at some point, I would do something ridiculously dorky to bring my cool-level back down to normal.
When I arrived back at my dorm, I attempted to dismount my bike by the bike racks. Cool Karma was quick to take advantage of the combination of my 2-inch heels and my skintight jeans. I managed to half get off my bike, but ended up losing my balance and collapsing into someone else’s bike, bringing my own bike down on top of me. There were definitely people watching.
As an added bonus, there is now a nice big bruise on my thigh so I can remember just how cool I really am.
Being a Real Live Dork
So you know how sometimes in movies and TV shows the really nerdy kid goes up to a water fountain and when they press the button for water it squirts them right in the eye? I was really thirsty before Spanish class the other day so I went to get a drink. I had never used the water fountain before but I nonetheless positioned myself at general water fountain-drinking level in preparation for some nice cold refreshment. The soaring stream of water arced up and shot me right in the eye. I stood staring at the literal fountain and sighed. Little droplets dribbled laughingly down my face. A professor walked by, eyeing me with concern.
I could feel her thinking, Wow, what a dork.
